About + 100 Things

MeThe blurb: I am a wife, mother, sister, friend, volunteer and survivor. I tend to be easily irritated by people, but am working on being as friendly on the inside as I am on the outside. Or not. This is my personal but public journal.

Disclaimer #1: This website has seen many changes including countless template tweaks and a move from Blogger to WordPress. A lot of really great comments were lost in the process and that is a serious drag. Because of template changes, some references to the blog layout will not make sense anymore. If you’re reading that far back, you.are.awesome. I’m baking something for you right now. If you are new to the site but not new to my life, I maybe wrote something that you think is about you. It’s not. It’s about someone who sucks who is not you. Unless it’s something nice. In that case, of COURSE it’s about you, silly! You’re looking 100% smashing, by the way.

Disclaimer #2: I am a semi-anonymous blogger. I tell you why here. Some of my posts are password protected. If I know or recognize you OR if you give me generous amounts of cash, I’ll probably give you the password. They’re mostly just pictures, so you’re not missing out on a crucial part of the cool beans experience of awesome if you’re new. Or if I strongly dislike you or your friends. Whichever.

The finger-wagging: Unless otherwise stated, the content of this website is mine. Give credit where credit is due. Don’t steal. Want to use something you see here? Please ask.

The e-mail: coolbeansmama AT gmail DOT com

100 Things About Me

  1. I am 33 years old.
  2. I like cheese.
  3. I am a fan of chairs.
  4. I have an ass and thighs and stomach and upper arms and chins to prove #2 and #3.
  5. I was a natural blond when I was 17. Now I’m blond, naturally.
  6. I had childhood asthma.
  7. I don’t have a lot of happy childhood memories.
  8. I don’t have a lot of any childhood memories.
  9. I like volunteering.
  10. I’d rather sit, thank you.
  11. I like to swim.
  12. I’ve never traveled outside the United States.
  13. I have a fondness for Canadians.
  14. I was in marching band all four years of high school.*
  15. I was a drum major for two years.*
  16. I played the alto sax from Fifth through Twelfth Grade. Badly.
  17. I’m better at being bossy.
  18. I like cooking, but I hate my kitchen.
  19. I have freckles.
  20. I get sunburned very easily.
  21. I’ve always wished I could tan.
  22. I am not athletic.
  23. I like to read.
  24. I love movies.
  25. I enjoy reality television.
  26. I like brussels sprouts.
  27. Avocado makes my stomach feel greasy.
  28. I like roller coasters but hate single Ferris Wheels (doubles are usually okay).
  29. I like Ferris Bueller.
  30. When I want to feel good and content and happy, I remember myself on a particular day in Autumn 1991. Who I was in that moment, I wish I could be forever.
  31. I love my kids, but I worry I’m screwing them up.
  32. I wish my brain had an On/Off switch.
  33. I laugh a lot.
  34. A lot of the time I spend laughing, I’m laughing at someone else.
  35. I’m only sorry about that sometimes.
  36. I swear a lot.
  37. My favorite “bad word” is “Motherfucker.”
  38. In front of the substitute teacher, I told another 7th Grade student, “That woman has something up her ass.” I also said something about not being the one to remove it. But I don’t remember exactly how I put that.
  39. I miss my fearless self.
  40. I don’t miss the 7th Grade teacher “that woman” was subbing for. He spent too much time rubbing backs checking for bra straps.
  41. In 8th Grade, I argued with a pastor about his idea that people shouldn’t cuss and women in particular should never swear because women carry life in their bodies.
  42. I like coffee.
  43. I like beverages in general.
  44. A few years ago a friend stayed at my house and I didn’t put sheets on the couch. I think about that almost weekly. I’m sorry.
  45. Overall, I like my husband’s family more than I think most people like their in-laws. I really love his aunts. So much it makes me cry.
  46. I used to be a smoker. Sometimes, I miss the first drag and fiddling with the lighter.
  47. I could only quit smoking when I knew I wanted to try to get pregnant.
  48. My husband and I won’t ever make another baby.
  49. I can never smoke again. Not even one tiny little smoky sip.
  50. I’d rather eat, anyway.
  51. I wish I could stay home with my children. I work part-time and I enjoy it. (Edited 11/1/07)
  52. I got a pair of roller skates in 4th Grade. I wore them almost constantly for four years.
  53. I still have a crease on my foot where the skates would rub and sometimes cause a blister.
  54. The skates are currently in my basement with a lot of other childhood artifacts. Covered with a green blanket.
  55. A State Trooper saw my boobs.
  56. My favorite pair of panties ever were a denim colored fabric with white eyelet ruffles at the front thigh and a red bow in the center. The State Trooper saw those, too. His name was Mark.
  57. I didn’t get in trouble. My boyfriend didn’t either. He also didn’t get lucky.
  58. After that, he had to marry me.
  59. I married my husband on the first Monday afternoon of 1994. It was snowing.
  60. The dress I wore for my high school graduation was also my wedding dress.
  61. After I gave birth to my oldest child, I had a nap and a peanut butter cookie.
  62. I have a crush on Bam Margera.
  63. I have a crush Ryan Dunn. But I wouldn’t tell Ryan Dunn because my crush on him is a bit more serious.
  64. #63 is a secret, Internet.
  65. Attached ear lobes generally freak me out.
  66. I like crooked teeth. But they have to be the right kind of crooked.
  67. I’m allergic to aspartame (NutraSweet). This limits my gum and breath mint options.
  68. I’m allergic to honey. Even a drizzle in your House Latte at Panera.
  69. One of my favorite movies is “Romeo and Juliet” with Olivia Hussey.
  70. My yearbooks are among my favorite possessions.
  71. I wear two pieces of jewelry every day: My wedding ring and a necklace given to me by a friend.
  72. I love babies.
  73. Old women fascinate, infuriate and amuse me.
  74. I’m probably allergic to your perfume.
  75. I don’t knit or sew or paint or cross-stitch or collect things.
  76. I would collect music boxes, but I don’t want musical jewelry boxes or music playing figurines. So it just feels like too much work.
  77. I wish I knew how to play the piano.
  78. I believe non-hot guys can up their hotness by playing the piano.
  79. Since my husband doesn’t play the piano, I should probably delete #78. But I tell my husband all the time that I find him attractive so he can shut it.
  80. I think I should delete #78 and #79.
  81. You should play a trivia game with me so I can KILL YOU WITH MY SUPERIORITY IN ALL THINGS TRIVIAL. Seriously. Bring a helmet.
  82. I do not buy groceries for my family. I make a list, my husband shops. Then I complain that he didn’t get the right thing and he tells me to do it myself and I say, “Oh, I’m not mad. It’s the stupid store’s fault. You’re fine! You did a good job! Look! Boobies! Edited 3/10/07 - Grocery shopping is my job now, kids.
  83. My feet reek.
  84. I’m missing a molar.
  85. I’m not sharing what I originally typed on this line.
  86. I like making lists.
  87. If I make a to-do list, I rarely complete it.
  88. I love DELEGATING.
  89. I like the way the public library smells.
  90. I sit on the floor between the stacks of books. I never see anyone else doing this. It might be against the rules.
  91. Making this list was fairly easy until I got to #86 and ran out of steam. Now I’m really thinking about it.
  92. I can roll my tongue and wiggle my ears.
  93. I can’t believe I ever drank Zima in public.
  94. Yes, I will do a shot of tequila with you.
  95. My face gets red when I drink. It’s worse when I drink beer. I’m fairly certain I’m allergic to Gin. On account of it making breathing difficult.
  96. I’m searching for that one person who loves Jolly Ranchers but hates the cherry ones. Does that describe you? If so, we are meant to share packages of hard candy, my friend.
  97. I hate driving in unfamiliar cities. I won’t drive in large, unfamiliar cities at all.
  98. I nearly always beat my husband at poker.
  99. I look good in pink.
  100. I made list after list of names for future children. I didn’t actually use any of them. I’m proud of myself for that.

*Do you know George Parks? Do you know about S.W.A.G.? How is your marble? Do you remember Jeremy from Chicago? Jason from Minneapolis? Why don’t I remember any girls from camp? Weird.