None of you may be wondering why I didn’t write anything for a month. The same number of you might be wondering why I didn’t read your blog for a month. Let me tell you why:

I’m not sure. Sorry.

I spent some time participating on a message board I frequented before I began screaming for attention over here. I obsessed over Big Brother and kept up with American Idol. I started five books and didn’t finish any. I looked for everyone I know and everyone I don’t know on MySpace. I did some laundry, spent a weekend away with my family. I napped once or twice. I watched Tourette’s Guy on YouTube.* I, too, want to know:

Who gives a shit about Big Foot?

I’m tweaking my template because it’s easier than writing right now, so please be patient if you stop by and everything is sideways.

I’ve got some good stories to share. During my hiatus, my glasses snapped in half and my husband “fixed” them. I tracked down my former BFF online and the thing we have in common now? Pretty much gave me a coronary. My brother is off fighting the forgotten war and has issued a plea for help. Also, I pretty much rock and you want to hear all about it.

We’ll talk soon.

*I have this idea that everyone who reads this blog is a nice, sweet, gentle person who is the most politically correct citizen of the world. If that is true, you do not want to watch Tourette’s Guy on YouTube. Not only is the content offensive, but the fact that I watched it all and laughed until my forehead exploded is even more offensive. But I’m throwing it out there because there are some excellent, random quotes in there, Bob Saget. If you do go looking, please note that it is NSFW.