Considering all the stress I was heaving on myself, our holiday has been very pleasant. Everything that needed to be done got done and the things that didn’t get done weren’t missed. (Like, no one else cared the couch still stinks.) Here is a day-by-day play-by-play of our holiday. As promised, here is the rundown of our Christmas at home.
Christmas Day
Monday night we’d given our children strict orders to leave us be until 7:00a.m. I think we should have said 7:00p.m. We’d be well-rested and they’d be in straight jackets. It’s SO much easier to control kids who have their arms tied around them.
Shortly after 7 o’clock, we all took our places in the living room. I took the recliner in the corner and my husband steered the ship from behind our ancient video camera. The kids bounced around the tree drooling on and mumbling to themselves.
I do this sneaky thing with presents at Christmas. Instead of putting their names on their gifts, I simply assign gift tags. This year our oldest son’s presents all had a gift tag with a tree. The girl had a wreath and the little guy had a Santa on his. They can pick through the presents before we get up, but it’s hard to guess what you’re getting when it’s hard to guess which boxes are even yours!
Once we sorted out who got what, they dug in. My little guy liked his LeapPad and games and was over the moon about his Webkinz. His Yellow Lab is named “Gizmo” after his aunt’s doggie (which is so not a Yellow Lab) and he named his Koala after the brand new baby in my friends’ family.
Our girl got a diary that locks and new Hannah Montana sheets and comforter. And some other stuff I can’t quite remember right now. (I’m halfway through a bottle of wine, friends.)
My son got a cool t-shirt ….and some other stuff. Then we handed him a big, flat, rectangular package to unwrap. He was confused and thought maybe there was a big sketchpad inside. He peeled away the paper and said, “Uh, okay. It’s a box.” Then, a skateboard deck fell out onto his foot.
I think that’s my favorite thing about Christmas this year. I disguised a skateboard deck in a flattened cardboard box and he had no clue what was inside.
He ripped the paper off the next box to find an Easy Bake Oven box filled with trucks, wheels, bearings, and grip tape. He was impressed.
Thinking they were done, everyone looked around to survey the carnage. I said, “Wait a minute. Something is missing. There are at least two more presents.” They searched and searched until I had to help them find them tucked into the branches of the Christmas tree.
His and hers iPod Shuffles which, upon opening, cause screaming and stammering.
It was excellent.
The Food
Then we stuffed ourselves with Baked French Toast. Baked French Toast is a magical thing that you make the night before (with Half and Half and eight eggs) and bake in the morning. We like to help push the fat from this dish through by greasing our veins with sausage and bacon. I got this recipe a few years ago from the magical land of Allrecipes.com. If you decide to try this out (and OMG you should), remember that it’s not supposed to be crispy French toast. It’s more like bread pudding. But like a bread pudding I don’t find disgusting. If it’s just you and yours you’re cooking for, plan to take half the pan to the neighbor. Or plan to stand in front of the stove in your pajamas and eat directly from the baking dish until noon and then die from a heart attack. It’s worth it.
While breakfast was baking I put together our Christmas dinner pig feast. Following this recipe (from Allrecipes.com again. I swear I can’t open a jug of orange juice without that website.) I rubbed minced garlic and lemon juice all over some country style pork ribs. I added some grill seasoning because everything in this world needs 1) butter or 2) grill seasoning or 3) both. I put this back in the fridge while we had breakfast and cleaned up that mess.
After breakfast I had some coffee and read until I couldn’t sit up anymore. I put the ribs in the low oven and peeled and cut the potatoes. Then I went back to bed. I was so tired and I kept waking myself up snoring. Finally I slept hard and dreamt of a house I keep dreaming about though I have no idea where it is or if it even exists. I also dreamed I was going to take my little guy swimming, but didn’t have a bathing suit for me so I had to distract him so we didn’t have to swim. Then I dreamed my husband had eaten half the ribs because “The timer went off and you weren’t up so I thought they were done and I could just go ahead.”
That woke me up. I’d been sleeping face-down and one side of my head wasn’t moving in concert with the other. I was scary looking. But I had to get up. I didn’t have as much bottled barbecue sauce as I’d thought, so I had to make my own. I made A Very Popular BBQ Sauce and used regular vinegar instead of the red wine vinegar because I don’t have any. It was good stuff. It makes a ton, though.
I poured the sauce on the ribs (which I’d cover with two or three lemons in the future.) Then I started the potatoes and chopped broccoli that was eventually tossed in favor of a simple green salad. I mashed the potatoes with butter, cream cheese that was leftover from making sugar cookies and the Half and Half that was leftover from breakfast. I covered them with foil and put them in the oven with the ribs to stay warm and then I took a shower.
Magic.
We had our Christmas dinner around 3:00 and spent the rest of the day playing games, listening to our iPods, assembling skateboards and getting drunk by ourselves.
Sweetness
Shortly before he hauled in all the gifts on Christmas Eve, my husband “snuck” into the bedroom to get something. He came back to the kitchen and handed me a little box. I’d asked for a new gold chain so I can wear some pendants that came with wimpy chains that have been broken forever. He was very happy to give it to me and wanted me to have it to wear Christmas morning if I wanted. I didn’t have a chance to put it on until just before we had our Christmas dinner. It’s nicer than the one I’d asked for and it was very sweet of him not to care that I left his bottle of cologne at Aisle 14.
I hope you all had a super holiday.
