Last year I started taking medication to treat depression and post traumatic stress disorder. At that time, I started seeing a psychiatrist to help “manage” these medications.

manage ‘ma-nij:
1 :See for five to ten minutes every couple of months so I can tell him, “I’m fine and yeah, your secretary already called in those refills for me. Thanks. Here’s a hundred bucks.”

The last time I went in, we had the following conversation:

Me: Can I stop taking this one pill every day?
Him: Uh, no. That and the other - very good combination. Very good.
Me: So as long as I’m on one, I’m on the other?
Him: Yes. They work really well together.
Me: (Starting to cry out of frustration. I am trapped.) Okay.
Him: Is there anything else?
Me: Yes, actually, I have two or three days every month when I am just really, really angry and emotional. Is there anything I can take just on those days to manage that?
Him: No.
Me: Blinkblinkblinkblink.
Him: Nothing for just a few days. You’d have to take something every day. All month long.

Here’s the thing: I wanted to be more assertive here and say, “Now waaaaaaait just one minute, mister. I know that’s not true!” But communicating with this doctor is difficult. We have a thick accent barrier. I don’t always understand him and my extreme sensitivity to not ever doing or feeling or appearing racist at all even a little bit keeps me from saying, “Could you repeat that?” or “Hey, at $10 a minute could we maybe get an interpreter up in this joint?!” This is stupid, I know. I know.

My therapist had suggested I ask the psychiatrist about this because she has clients who take something for a week - ONE WEEK - every month and get a lot of relief from it. When I reported this conversation to her, she suggested I see another doctor. Not switch doctors, but go to my ob/gyn and ask this same question. But that means I have to find one of those because the one I used to see is retiring (and scary) and I’m afraid of the other one (also scary) and know nothing about the new guy really (which is its own kind of scary.)

I talked to the chiropractor about it and he gave me a little kit I’m supposed to drool into at specific intervals during the day. Then I overnight the saliva bombs to this lab with a check for $150 and they tell me my hormones are messed up. Then the chiro looks at the results and gives me stuff to help balance them out. But I have to do this on a Sunday or Monday and can’t have coffee and garlic and a whole list of other things and really? A day without coffee? I need it to be a day I don’t have to do anything at all because my head? It will be sawing itself in half. I think next Sunday will work.

In between when I’m not experiencing PMS breakdown? I don’t think about it. I’m fine! Next month will be FINE! I will take a walk or a long bath and I’ll treat myself to something and rainbows and sunshine and roses will burst from my ears and nose and ass.

That brings us to today. Do you SEE any rainbows and sunshine and roses? OF COURSE YOU DON’T! Because there ISN’T ANY! ANYWHERE! IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I NEED TO BREAK SOMETHING!

This isn’t pretty. I went to church today and listened to my pastor once again poo-poo modern medicine and dismiss depression and anxiety. “Trust in the Lord! You can’t get that in a pill!”

I KNOW I can’t. My psychiatrist won’t prescribe it! Will Jesus call that into the pharmacy, please?

I sat in the front pew this morning and tried really, really hard not to cry and I literally bit my tongue to keep from calling out, “And how does one DO that, exactly? And you just used the word “put” but nothing man can do can fix anything. So PUT! Which is taking action! But I can’t because nothing I DO is worthy because that’s all about ME and glorifies ME. And you just said that’s BAD! We could be having pancakes instead!”

Do you get this way each month? If so, what do you do to get relief? Do you break things? Do you have something I could break?