Everybody run! It’s a MEME!

1.Whats your name spelled backwards?
Erm. Pretend I played along with this one.

2. What did you do last night?
I read blogs and talked to a friend via email while my husband paced through the house and talked non-stop for over an hour.

3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Graphics for possible blog headers.

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
No. What the hell is wrong with people?

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
A couple weeks ago.

6. What are you wearing?
Gray knit capri pants and a white tank top. (Most of yesterday’s outfit that became pajamas at midnight.)

7. How many cars have you owned?
Since being together, my husband and I have owned four cars. Not all of them at the same time. Somehow, none of them have ended up on blocks in the yard. It is a miracle.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
I don’t even know what you call it. Best described as “polka with lyrics en Espanol.” Also, anything by the Eagles and Don Henley. And a whole bunch of other stuff. I love music, but I hate a lot of it, too.

9. Are you registered to vote?
Absolutely.

10. Do you have cable?
No.

11. What kind of computer do you use?
A giant Dell desktop. I feel like I’m sitting in front of a dinosaur.

12. Ever made a prank phone call?
Yep. Hundreds. One of my favorites: We’d call old people and ask for the old man, pretending to be his 12 year-old one-night stand. We stopped doing that when THE WIDOW answered the phone. Our other favorite: Calling everyone named “Norbert” and scream-moaning “Nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooorrrberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!” into the phone.

13. You like anyone right now?
What does this mean? Do I have the hots for someone right now? Um, NO. Or, yes, but he’s not even old enough to ring up my beer. I’m a dirty old lady.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I don’t think I’d do either. I’m more likely to sky dive than bungee. Did you see that Faces of Death video with the bungee off the building? No? Okay. Don’t. That’s something that can’t be erased.

15. Furthest place you ever travelled?
Opposite sides of the country. Which really isn’t very far. I would have to look at a map to figure the miles and really, who needs a map?

16. Do you have a garden?
Ahahahaha!! Whoa. Suddenly everything is in italics. How’d that happen? I do not have a garden.

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Dah. What? I don’t know.

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
When I’m singing along. If I had to sing it alone, I would surely mix parts up. I think maybe I’m supposed to be embarrassed by that, but I’m not. It’s a SONG, yo.

19. Shower, morning or night?
Morning. But sometimes both. I don’t have an only one shower a day kind of rule.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
Pan’s Labyrinth. I wish I’d looked away a couple more times than I did, though. Holy crap. Second best: Stranger Than Fiction. Very good. Will Ferrell is a genius.

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
Everything including green olives. Or just pepperoni. Sometimes sauerkraut and Canadian bacon.

22. Chips or popcorn?
Popcorn. Made in oil on the stove with real butter and five pounds of salt.

23. What cell phone provider do you have?
Your mom. What is this question?

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Seriously. Licking batteries and smoking peanut shells. Next you will tell me you’ve been drinking nutmeg. STOP THE INSANITY.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Nope. I don’t want to make the other girls cry with my awesomeness. Smackdown, pretties.

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange.

27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
High school sweethearts. Three of us had pie. One of us did not. Next time, she’s not invited. Have some pie, kids.

28. Favorite chocolate bar?
Do I have a favorite? One that has chocolate on it? I’d rather have something else, thanks. Like PIE.

29. Who is your longest friend and how long?
Without taking chunks of time off or away, my friend in Texas. The one who will be home in THREE DAYS! Woohoo. We knew each other before, but became good friends our Senior year of high school. I think. I drank too much I can’t remember shit. That’s a long time. Oh. Maybe I’ve known my husband longer than that. But he doesn’t count. Or, maybe he’s the ONLY one who counts because the question does say “longest”. My sister reads this. Happy blushing!

30. Last time you ate a home-grown tomato?
Last summer. But it was grown at someone else’s home.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. I got a trophy for something ha-ha funny in yearbook. It was for something like all-around best ass-kicking motherfucker. It was me and myself in the running for that one. I wish I could remember what it really said on it. It’s around here somewhere. Buried. I’m so proud.

32. Favorite artist?
Your mom. I just don’t do this. What? I like pretty pictures.

33. Favourite computer game?
You Don’t Know Jack. And Bejewelled and Spider Solitaire and last night I dreamt there was a new batch of riddles at Weffriddles.

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
No. I did buy some nail care products from QVC, though. The stuff totally worked. I am too lazy to take care of my nails properly. (I think ProStrong was the name of the stuff.)

35. Sprite or 7-UP?
Coke.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
Yes. Dairy Queen uniforms are hawt.

37. Last thing you bought at a store?
Tampons. Aren’t you glad you asked?

38. Ever thrown up in public?
Probably. I wouldn’t remember it, though.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
I would really like the money. But I’ve been told “love is all you need.” Maybe we should start cuddling with our bills.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Attraction, affection, lust.

41.Can exes just be friends?
Maybe, but it’s probably going to be weird for somebody.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My grandmother.

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
Yes. And bangs that started at the crown of my head. They were awkward to grow out.

44. What message is on your voicemail machine?
The robot recording that came with the machine.

45. Where would you like to go right now?
I would like to be alone in a swimming pool.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
Sandy, a Britney Spaniel that I barely remember. I blamed a lot of my toddler antics on that dog.

47. What kind of backpack do you have, and what’s in it?
Who do you think I am? Dora the Explorer?

48. Last incoming/outgoing call on your phone?
My brother-in-law calling to ask my husband to take him fishing on the first day of my friend’s visit. OF COURSE you can go, dear. OF COURSE I will make your life hell, dear.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
Coffee. Sunshine.

50. What do you think about most?
The stuff I think I should be doing.