Last night my son came to me and said, “Tomorrow, I’m walking to school!” I asked him why and he explained that he’s been late twice already this year and the attendance secretary “wasn’t very nice about it. She kind of yelled at me.” (Read that last with the “choking up” voice in your head.) The thing that’s got us all puzzled over here is this: I drop my son off at his door first and he runs to class. I drop my daughter off second and she sort of takes slow, deliberate, “I’d rather be lying down” type steps toward the building. She hasn’t been tardy at all. So? What’s up with that? Whatever the case, I vowed to get him to school on time this morning.
I woke up a little after four o’clock this morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep, even after I’d repositioned the perpendicular sleeping toddler and scooched him down a bit to get his diaper out of my face. I gave in at 4:30 and got up for the day. I hate taking the first shower in the morning because the bathroom and shower aren’t warm from a previous shower. But I did it anyway. And then I shaved goosebumps. Which we all know is a huge waste of time and a really abusive way to treat leg skin that you feel attached to. But whatever. I was up at 4:30 A.M. I had some time to kill. Why not scrape skin off my shivering body? Yay!
The kids got up early, too. I took them to the doughnut shop. We had a pleasant time. The Toddler didn’t destroy too much of the shop. While we were stuffing our faces, a police officer came in. My son said, “Go figure. A cop in a doughnut shop.” GAH! Who brought you? We don’t know you!
We finished up and had to cross the street to get to our car. We stepped off the curb at an empty parking space and I saw a car approaching that wanted that space. So I told the children to hustle and specifically told my daughter to hurry, he wants to park here. Come on, cross here! Well, she didn’t get that and her extreme fear of physical discomfort propelled her back onto the sidewalk and holy crap. It was funny. Somehow, she made it across the street, but not before almost getting hit by a truck trying to park a few spaces down from where the rest of us crossed. (But that would have been okay because that guy is a physician’s assistant. The doctor is in!) My son and I could not stop laughing. It sounds much more dangerous than it was. Really. Honest. I told the children it was like watching someone play Frogger for the first time. Hop forward, hop back! Gasp a lot and jump into the air when you push the button!
On the way to school, we were still giggling and my daughter was getting upset. She told us to stop it because she was “really getting fed up!” I teased her, “Oh, fed up you are?” and my son said, “Do not hold onto your anger. It will give power to the Darkside.” and The Toddler said, “SDAH WAHS!” from the backseat because we let him watch too many movies. Obviously. Because he’s 2.5 and knows Yoda speak and the Darkside of The Force.
They got to school on time. No way either one of them were late. Unless their legs mysteriously fell off or something after I left. Even then, I think they had enough time to drag themselves to class.
