September 28, 2005
I was thinking that I might have a little crush on this one guy.
A little crush that could maybe even be a big crush or total obsession. So I went looking around for details (naked pictures). I realized I’ve seen this guy before and hey! I liked him before. And he’s even cuter now that he’s not dying and junk. Which rocks.
But then? Then I read he is 5′6″.
So, that’s like, so totally over.
September 27, 2005
So, now you all know about my fondness for fluff television. I might as well come clean. I like Big Brother and wish Janelle would have won. I love American Idol and tape it if I’m away from the television. I’m not crazy about MTV’s Real World anymore, but I watch enough so I know who the new kids are on the RW/RR challenges. Speaking of new kids, I was supposed to marry Donnie Wahlberg. And then Guns ‘N Roses happened. Sigh.
My son is struggling with balancing school responsibilities with play time. Tonight I sat down with him and developed a strategy for getting his project done by Friday by skimming the book. Then he’ll have to re-read the last bit over the weekend to pass the quiz. And THEN! We won’t slack. Ever again. From now until college graduation, there will be no more procrastinating. All projects will be done long before the deadline and then I will have to call the hospital and ask that they give me my child back because certainly there was a mix-up in the nursery because this child who completes assignments on time could not have sprung from these loins!
I introduced my daughter to Pippi Longstocking tonight. She wrinkled her nose at first, but then I told her that Pippi was the Junie B. of my day and she warmed up a bit. I heard her reading out loud in her room and she was really getting into it.
I had something else I wanted to write about, but I can’t remember now. I just ate some ice cream and my teeth are suddenly smarting. Ouch.
September 23, 2005
Some random stuff from this week. But first, if you have mad computer graphics skills and want to do a teensy tiny thing for me as a favor, please holler back. Or holla back. Whichever you prefer! I’m easy like that.
This week my son was upset about the reading program at his school and about his average-ness within that reading program. During this conversation, he compared himself to his sister. That made me think for a moment that maybe my parents didn’t actually compare my siblings to me when report cards came home. Perhaps we imagined they did it because we were comparing ourselves. But that thought didn’t stick around long. Because I was there and I know that’s not true.
We’re going to work on the reading thing, even though he’s doing just fine in reading. He wants to be better and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My daughter has been torturing us all with the Hillary Duff cd. Unfortunately, one of those songs happens to be the theme song for a show I’m terribly embarrassed to admit I’m completely hooked on like it’s coffee or crack or Dove ice cream. So, my daughter says, “MOM! Here’s that song you like!” And I’m like, “Yeah! LOVE IT!” and then I’m like, puking behind her back and stuff?
The Toddler started eating dry cereal out of bowls. What? That sounds normalish? Does it still sound normal if I tell you he puts the bowl on the floor and eats out of it like a dog? Then he barks and looks at me until I pet him. FYI: Lucky Charms is not suitable dog food. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is where it’s at.
Yesterday I called to confirm the time for my three hour hair appointment. My appointment was at 5:30 and it was indeed scheduled for yesterday. With the wrong person. I DO NOT KNOW LIZ! SHE CAN’T TOUCH MY HEAD! I went tonight instead and the right person used three colors in my hair and it is so pretty and you are jealous. Neener!
We’re headed out tomorrow to spend time with family. The first stop on our little road trip will be the liquor store.
I’ve noticed some new visitors lately and I want to say “Hi!” and “I love you!” and “Please come back!” And also, please say hello. Or something. Or maybe hold a portable stereo above your head and don’t say anything. (Tip: The stereo should be playing some kind of music. Don’t just stand there holding it up if it’s not playing something.)
September 17, 2005
September 17, 2005
*Okay. First word that popped in my head was “penis”. But then I blushed and typed the second word in my head. I cheated. I’m sorry.
September 16, 2005
Random notes from the last week:
1. If your butt crack shows when you sit down in those jeans, consider not wearing them. Or consider not wearing them to a restaurant. Because you’ll sit in front of me, you know you will, and every time you tug your tshirt lower and then casually brush your fingers over your back to see if your crack is sticking out, I’ll see you. You and your butt crack and you fingering your butt crack.
2. I should make and take more personal calls. Because, really, it’s my turn I think.
3. If you use the microwave to heat lasagna and it explodes, clean the microwave. Or I will daydream about strangling you. And that’s almost like practice. Someday, when I do strangle you, I’m going to be so good at it.*
4. I used to like Pringles. Now I don’t. In fact, I can’t stand the smell of Pringles and don’t like it when other people eat them. So knock it off.
5. Coffee made from beans I’ve ground myself is better than the drip coffee I buy at the usual spot. But bagels toasted in my own toaster with cream cheese from my own fridge are not as good as bagels at the usual spot and I like a package deal.
6. If this is what I have to complain about, I don’t really have any problems at all. Life is good.
*In the event someone is strangled, please note that this cannot be used as evidence against me. Because we all know that I have CTS in my right hand and while my technique and style might be impressive, I lack the strength to do more than tickle with that hand.
So, like, be warned. Explode pasta dishes in the microwave and endure moderately painful pressure on one side of your neck while being tickled on the other.
Gitchy-goo.
September 10, 2005
Must-See TV:
Current
It’s like TV blogging. Great for short attention spans. Favorite pod so far is “Jumper”.
Latest Obsession:
This show.
If you visit the website, you can rate viewer submitted tattoo photos.
Good fun.
And this guy on that show.
I’m a sucker for a big square head, folks. He looks tall, too. And the facial hair. Yum.
Daily Nerdness:
Set Game
Brain stimulation. I always get stumped after I’ve found five. Grr!
Proof I Live Under A Rock:
I just heard about this site yesterday.
Interesting site. Careful scrolling if the kids are hanging out with you.
Itching to Purchase:
At least two of these.
The liner in my daugher’s insulated lunch bag ripped inside during the first week of school. I didn’t think I could justify spending that kind of dough for lunch boxes. I’m thinking they’d be worth it now.
New Favorite Drink:
Zen
Even if you don’t like tea or don’t drink tea or don’t like clicking links, this site is a treat for the eyes. Give it a looky-see.
September 9, 2005
Last night my son came to me and said, “Tomorrow, I’m walking to school!” I asked him why and he explained that he’s been late twice already this year and the attendance secretary “wasn’t very nice about it. She kind of yelled at me.” (Read that last with the “choking up” voice in your head.) The thing that’s got us all puzzled over here is this: I drop my son off at his door first and he runs to class. I drop my daughter off second and she sort of takes slow, deliberate, “I’d rather be lying down” type steps toward the building. She hasn’t been tardy at all. So? What’s up with that? Whatever the case, I vowed to get him to school on time this morning.
I woke up a little after four o’clock this morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep, even after I’d repositioned the perpendicular sleeping toddler and scooched him down a bit to get his diaper out of my face. I gave in at 4:30 and got up for the day. I hate taking the first shower in the morning because the bathroom and shower aren’t warm from a previous shower. But I did it anyway. And then I shaved goosebumps. Which we all know is a huge waste of time and a really abusive way to treat leg skin that you feel attached to. But whatever. I was up at 4:30 A.M. I had some time to kill. Why not scrape skin off my shivering body? Yay!
The kids got up early, too. I took them to the doughnut shop. We had a pleasant time. The Toddler didn’t destroy too much of the shop. While we were stuffing our faces, a police officer came in. My son said, “Go figure. A cop in a doughnut shop.” GAH! Who brought you? We don’t know you!
We finished up and had to cross the street to get to our car. We stepped off the curb at an empty parking space and I saw a car approaching that wanted that space. So I told the children to hustle and specifically told my daughter to hurry, he wants to park here. Come on, cross here! Well, she didn’t get that and her extreme fear of physical discomfort propelled her back onto the sidewalk and holy crap. It was funny. Somehow, she made it across the street, but not before almost getting hit by a truck trying to park a few spaces down from where the rest of us crossed. (But that would have been okay because that guy is a physician’s assistant. The doctor is in!) My son and I could not stop laughing. It sounds much more dangerous than it was. Really. Honest. I told the children it was like watching someone play Frogger for the first time. Hop forward, hop back! Gasp a lot and jump into the air when you push the button!
On the way to school, we were still giggling and my daughter was getting upset. She told us to stop it because she was “really getting fed up!” I teased her, “Oh, fed up you are?” and my son said, “Do not hold onto your anger. It will give power to the Darkside.” and The Toddler said, “SDAH WAHS!” from the backseat because we let him watch too many movies. Obviously. Because he’s 2.5 and knows Yoda speak and the Darkside of The Force.
They got to school on time. No way either one of them were late. Unless their legs mysteriously fell off or something after I left. Even then, I think they had enough time to drag themselves to class.
September 9, 2005
I’ve been feeling a little weird about blogging lately. I’ve even neglected reading some of my favorites. So I thought I’d try a couple memes and sort of “free write” to shake out the stiffness.
From Friday Forum:
1] Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave your country and never step
foot in it again? Why/why not?
I would if I got to go to Canada. People could visit me in Canada. With my new-found fortune, I could buy Canada. I would so rock as Canada’s Owner.
2] If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and
honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to? Why/why not? Do you feel that your friends and family members *already* are pretty honest with you?
I think people are pretty honest with me. No. They’re not. Some are afraid of me. I know they talk about me behind my back. They’re all out to get me. I hate them all!
I have a lot of faults. I know it. No one needs to tell me. But! If someone isn’t being straight with me, that annoys me. But they can be tactful at least. Rude fuckers.
3] You notice a severe, self-destructive behavior pattern in a friend who is clearly unaware of it. Would you point it out? Why/why not?
Severe and self-destructive behavior pattern? Yes. I would say something. Gently.
4] If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have
tonight, what would the story be?
Adam Levine and tequila and some limes. The Happily Ever After End.
5] How often do you step back and reflect upon the way you are living and where you are headed? Do you often set goals for yourself? Why/why not?
I over-analyze everything. Down to how long I’m brushing my damn teeth and how many times I open the refrigerator when I’m packing lunches or making dinner (It’s a fun game! Try it! Welcome to Crazytown!). I don’t set goals very often. I make lists and throw the lists away. Before I finish them, usually. The unfinished stuff will show up on another list someday, anyway.
September 6, 2005
Things I hope I’ll remember about this summer:
1. How dirty The Toddler always is, no matter how much I hose him off.
2. Little League Baseball and that time my kid was so happy to have four RBI’s in one game.
3. How we surprised our son with a kickass bike. By hiding it in his closet.
4. How my daughter likes to pretend she’s a singing and dancing sensation and acts like she’s in a music video when she’s really just sitting in a wading pool.
5. How forcing the whole family to go swimming led to my mother finding out about my brother’s tattoo. OOPS! HAHAHA!
6. All the delicious beverages.
7. How cheap gas used to be.
8. How quickly time passes and how easy it is to rush through days instead of enjoying them.
9. How lucky I am.
Items 1-7 were written over the course of the summer. As I gear up for our work and school week this morning, I remind myself no matter the challenges and frustrations we face, somebody somewhere is struggling with bigger and badder problems. Everyday annoyances are not the catastrophes I like to pretend they are. I’ve got to roll with the punches and appreciate the space between smacks.
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