I had my wisdom teeth removed today. I got there about 9:15 and they took me back around 9:30 to get started. They told my sister it would take about an hour for the procedure and we left her waiting in the reception area. They got me hooked up to an IV and an automatic blood pressure cuff and stuck an oxygen tube in my nose. Let me tell you - those tubes are harder than they look on TV. The last thing I remember I was talking to one of the nurses about what she can do to increase her milk supply if she is desperate to take Sudafed (which can sometimes decrease milk production). One of the other nurses said something like, “You should be feeling too good to talk about oatmeal…” and that was it, really. The next thing I remember, I was waking up and the doctor was poking around and stitching things up. I was in and out, but remember thinking, “I made it. I can see my babies.” Because I’m retarded. And then I started CRYING. Because I’m Captain Retard. I was freezing, my arms were strapped to the chair and I couldn’t talk. I was shivering and no one was noticing, so I finally bent my knees and pulled my legs up toward my body and the doctor noticed and called for a blanket and patted my leg.
They got busy unhooking me from all the gadgets and encouraged me to stay awake. That’s when I noticed it was 11:00. Um, what happened to an hour? Hello? Once I was pretty much back from la-la land, the first thing I did was ask for a pen and paper. I had to finish my breastfeeding tips for the lactating nurse. Good grief. I am MASTER AND COMMANDER RETARD.
Then a nurse walked me out to my sister and they put me in the car. My sister had all the instructions and we’d been given a scrip for an antibiotic and a pain reliever. When the nurse said “antibiotic”, I got wild-eyed and started tracing circles in front of my hoo-ha and leaning toward my sister. The nurse looked concerned and confused but my sister said, “OH! You need…” and started making the circles with her hand, too, because she couldn’t think of “Diflucan”. The nurse said, “I’m glad you brought your sister to read your mind!” and then ran away, locked the office doors and called the police.
I LIKE the pain reliever they prescribed so I was happy. But then she said if that pain pill didn’t work to call in another prescription. I like that one even better so purposely did not fill it on our first trip to the store. I waited in the car while my sister picked up the meds and some soup, jello, yogurt and ice cream. We drove past the health food store later and, feeling guilty, I sighed and thought, “Well, everything there is crunchy.”
On the way home, she told me that they’d had some trouble with a couple teeth and that they weren’t able to use the dissolving sutures. That was a bummer because I was really starting to hurt and the gauze in my mouth was getting annoying and I really don’t want to go back. Ugh. Once home, we set up a TV tray by my bed and used a bean bag and pillows and an old sheet (to catch the bloody drool!) to make a homemade Craftmatic. I was supposed to take a pain reliever right away and I was supposed to eat before I did that. Of course, my face was still totally numb save for one small point on my upper lip and being forbidden to suck or slurp, I had a hard time getting Jello in my mouth. I even had to use my fingers to get my bottom lip tight against the cup to get some water in my face.
I rested and applied ice packs and realized that while the first pain reliever is fun if you’re not in any serious pain, it has some trouble cutting the mustard. So my sister called to have the Real Deal delivered. It arrived two hours before I could take it, so I took some Advil and commenced with the Moaning and Wincing and Pining for The Good Stuff.
I’m getting a bit better, but I look crappy. My entire face is very swollen and I have redness where the tightener thingie for the oxygen tubes sat under my chin(s). My upper right arm is bruised in long purple streaks from the Blood Pressure Cuff of Death, and tomorrow the swelling on my face will likely begin to bruise. The area just below my lower gums is already very bruised.
The doctor called around 9:00 or so tonight to check on me. He said my teeth were very difficult to remove because they were really impacted in the bone and because the roots were very curly. (If my hair was as curly as my tooth roots, you could call me Shirley Temple. God has a sick sense of humor.) Doc also said that to remove the entire root of one or two of the teeth, he would have risked damaging the nerve and that might have caused me permanent facial numbness. So I’ve got some chunks in there. He was very interested in how much numbness I still felt and where it was most numb, which kind of worried me. I think everything is okay. Hopefully it’s all just sore tomorrow. I hate numbness on top of the pain. He also said that because my teeth were in there so good (or bad, whatever), he put socket packs in each spot to prevent dry socket. That’s why I have sutures that have to be removed. I may have to have the socket packs replaced as well a few times over the next few weeks. Ur, no thanks! Gak!
I’m sore and can only talk a wee bit before it really starts smarting. My mom brought me pudding and a balloon and my dad sent a copy of today’s crossword puzzle. My sister stayed all day and cleaned my house and waited on me. I had to write to communicate most of the day and kept a pen and paper handy. I wish like crazy I had a laptop because I type so much faster than I write. I’m not supposed to lift anything so my babysitter is picking the kids up at 8:00 for me tomorrow. The Toddler is going to have a spaz attack over that for sure. He’s sad I can’t play and hold him much. I can only hold him on my lap until he gets wound up and that doesn’t take long.
